So…a little bit about me — Part 4

So…by now, you’ve probably figured out that I’m a little off.  That’s not QUITE true.  I’m perfectly sane.  Well, as sane as a self-proclaimed sane person can be.  I deal with a lot.  I have gone through a lot, so I need an escape.  We all do right?  Well, as my budget is one that will not allow me to go on extravagant…shoot…REGULAR trips, I have to escape in print.  Soooooooooo….I absolutely, posatutely LOVE to read.  I love books like a teenaged boy loves video games!  I know when they are coming out months in advance like a movie buff keeps up with movies coming out!  I pay attention.

It all started when I was in second grade.  My librarian, Theresa Hall, took a special interest in me for some reason.  I don’t know what my teacher, Mrs. Bullard told her, but something made her take GREAT STRIDES to help me find something I would like in the library.  I was 8 years old at the time and I just remember hearing my teacher say that someone needed to “light a fire” under my behind.  I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to hear that, but I think she was calling me slow!  Anyway, Mrs. Hall, the librarian, helped me find Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary in the library.  I absolutely LOVED THAT BOOK!  I fell in love with series books then because I wanted to know everything there was to know about Ramona and her family.  I read everything I could find by Beverly Cleary!  I was disappointed when there were no more Ramona books, but I moved on to The Babysitter’s Club Series by Ann Martin and Sweet Valley Twins by Francine Paschal.  These kept me busy for awhile because there were just so many books!  We lived within walking distance of the library and my sister, two neighborhood friends and me would walk to the library frequently to check out and return books!  I was hooked.

I have an ugly habit of finding an author I like and reading all of that author’s books.  I’ve been that way since the beginning!  As an adult, it hasn’t changed.  I certainly have an appreciation for the written word.  I say it’s an ugly habit because I should be open to variety.  I remember one particular author that I was reading during high school.  Her books were not series books, but they were suspense/mystery/thriller types.  Anyway, I was halfway through one (maybe about the 7th or 8th one of hers), and I realized that I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen!  I had to keep reading, but I knew all of what was going to happen.  I was disappointed because it was so predictable.  Reluctantly, I got the next one, and sure enough, I knew what would happen VERY early in the book.  I did something I never do.  I skipped ahead.  When it was obvious that I’d written the book (well surely I had because I knew what was going to happen right?), I put it down never to read that author again. I’ve learned that it’s okay to fall in love with an author, but be open to others.  Otherwise, you’ll get bored and forget all the good that there was!

One day, I’d like a library in my home and the means to fill it with any book that I want.  Some people don’t see the point in actually owning the books.  They feel that once they read the book, there’s no reason to still have it.  What’s the reason?  WELL DUH!  To read again when you get ready!  YES, I read and R E R E A D books!  I can’t help it.  Sometimes, I miss something.  I like to go back so I can see if I can find clues that what happened was going to happen!  It’s fun to do and sometimes, I have nothing left to read because a) I can’t afford to buy a new book, b) the book is too new to be in the library or c) I can’t get to the library!

I have a never ending To Be Read (TBR) list.  I am always seeing an ad for a book that intrigues me!  I read the synopsis and think I’m going to love it!  I read lots of blogs about books so that doesn’t help.  It only adds to the madness!  So, some of the things I post here may be book reviews, or some other madness about what I’m reading or want to read.  It’s part of who I am.  DEAL WITH IT!  The girl hates this about me.  She does NOT like to read.  I look at her and often wonder if they gave me the wrong kid at the hospital.  How could a child of mine HATE to read?  Is this God’s way of torturing me!?

So…the next time you see a book that looks like it’s interesting, pick it up and think of me.  Buy me one and you one too!  It’ll come back to you 1o fold!  The Lord loves a cheerful giver!

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata

So…taking pictures sucks!

So…taking pictures sucks!

So…I absolutely, posatutely, HATE taking pictures. Well, let me say change that.  I hate taking FULL BODY pictures.   It’s not that I think I’m ugly or anything like that, I just don’t like to see the pictures!  Other people can have them, but I’m okay if I don’t know what I look like.  I’m a Virgo.  Virgos will criticize themselves to death! I can see every flaw down to the hair standing up on my head.  (You see it too now, right?).  Anyway, I’ll take face shots all day because I know I’m gorgeous.

So, I’ll say…I am not happy with my body.  What woman is?  We all have those image issues.  It’s not something that is just of big women.  I’ve recently connected with so many new people.  One thing I’ve learned is that EVERYONE has something about themselves that they don’t like.  Someone thinks her hair is too short.  Someone else thinks hers is too long.  Someone thinks their size 8 is too big, and someone else thinks their size 2 is too small.

Recently, I cut my hair.  I had been growing it for two years.  Let me say this, I’ve been natural since 2003.  I had brain surgery and was afraid to get a relaxer when the scar on the back of my head was healing.  I thought that maybe I should just cut it off and I did.  For years, I was back and forth with my hair.  I’d cut it, grow it, get it braided, fro it….then ultimately, cut it again.  I prefer my hair very short or very long.  All that in between stuff is for the birds!

When we moved to a new city with no family and no friends nearby, my daughter BEGGED me not to cut my hair.  She said, “Mom, please.  I’d rather you come to school naked than cut your hair.”  I did not understand why it was such a big deal, but I obliged.  After all, I could not find a barber so, I figured, why not.  Let’s see what happens.  So, for two years, I did not cut my hair.  I dyed it once, had it braided but did not cut it.  I had always dreamed of having this cute afro puff that I could wear.  Well, I got to my afro puff and realized, that I was doing absolutely NOTHING with my hair.  It was sitting on top of my head in a puff, daily!  I would see all of these cute styles posted on my Facebook page and on YouTube videos but didn’t want to do them or didn’t care if I did them.  That’s when I realized I was not fascinated by my hair.  People would ask, “What’s your goal length?”  I did not care.  I just was letting it grow because my daughter asked me to.

When I look at pictures from the past 2 years, I look so uncomfortable.  While I liked my curly hair, I never felt like it was me.  So, March 20th, first day of spring, I followed the urge I’d fought for 2 years and found a barber that was given to me by someone I trusted….I walked in, told him what I wanted and voila!  Short do!  Of course, it was drastic and everyone (and I do mean everyone) did a double take and went, “OH MY GOSH YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!”  That was usually followed by, “it looks good though” or “it’s totally you” or my favorite, “you have the head for it.”   Just last night, a lady told me that when I first cut my hair, she was mad.  (Um…my head)…ANYWAY…but then she said, she saw me and said, “well she’s still pretty”…(really dude?) -_-  But last night, I realized, I wasn’t seeking validation from others which is usually so me.  I was always trying to be the me everyone else wanted me to be and I didn’t like her very much.

The point is, be happy with who you are.  If there’s something about you that you don’t like, change it if you can.  It does not matter what anyone else thinks.  It’s all about what you are going to be happy with.  My biggest dislike about that picture up there?  Yeah, I’m not happy with my thighs!   They’re huge!  So…what am I going to do about them?  CHANGE ‘EM!  Walking is my drug of choice for now.  I’ll keep pushing and pushing…but I still don’t like pictures!

So, the next time someone jumps in your face with a camera, stand there, and listen for the “1, 2, 3” then fall on the floor!  They will be too concerned with whether or not you’re okay to be trying to continue to take a photo!

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata

So…a little about me — Part 3

So…a little about me — Part 3

So….The newest big thing to happen to me is that I’ve become a published author.  Now, before you go looking me up on Amazon, I am a part of a collaborative project called The Motherhood Diaries by Reshonda Tate Billingsley.  She is one of my favorite authors.  She put out a post on Facebook back in August calling for stories from moms parenting in the new millennium.  If you read my last post, you know that I wrote about the girl.  Well, imagine my surprise when November 5th, I got an email from Reshonda’s assistant telling me to sign the contract to have my work included.  I was completely shocked!  I thought, wait…what?  I did not even know it had been accepted until that moment!  As I read the contract, I thought that it was perhaps something that was sent to everyone who submitted a story.  I later found out that over 200 entries were submitted.  She chose 22.  I sincerely wondered HOW mine had been chosen.  Then I thought, “maybe it’s in a section on how NOT to be included…”

Hey..I have issues alright!  I was emotional when I wrote my story and sent it in on the last day, but not in a million years could I have guessed that my work would be chosen.  Coincidentally (or not), I had just started as a participant in Nanowrimo, which is National Novel Writing Month which happens every November.  Participants are challenged to write a complete novel in 30 days.  I saw the post on two friends’ Facebook posts on November 1st.  When I checked it out, I thought, “hmm…why not!”  I’d always joked about the people talking in my head and that I should write a book.  I never took myself seriously and never thought I would.  But seeing it presented like that in a challenge, I was ready to try my hand at it and so I started that very night.

So, getting word almost a week into my first novel that I was going to be a published author sooner than my first book, I was uber excited.  Of course, I remembered what I wrote, and started to get scared.  Once it was published people would know my business!  I was so afraid.  What will they think?  What will they say?  Will they think I’m a bad mom?  Will my mom be angry?  I kept it bottled up for about a month.  I told my mom, who happens to be an English major, retired high school Language Arts teacher and current Writing professor at a university back home.  She was absolutely thrilled.

My chapter in The Motherhood Diaries is called Diary of a Struggling Mom.  The book was published on April 9th and is doing pretty good.  I’m excited.  There will be more information about book signings and things of that nature as soon as we get some information finalized.  I’m loving this new chapter in my life.

As for my book that I started in November…I finished it.  I’ve been tweaking it ever since.  I hired an editor and got some precious feedback and I am feverishly working to finish.  I am hoping to have my book published in the next twelve months.  There are so many stories left to tell.  A lady at my church was ALWAYS telling me, “you should write a book.”  I had heard that so many times but I always met it with, “Oh, I’m not a writer, that’s my mom and my sister.”    She asked me one day, “Have you read the things you write on Facebook?  You have a way with words.  You have a gift.”  I told her that I had been praying about my purpose and what God’s plan was for this chapter in my life.  She was the 2nd person after I’d prayed about that to come to me about writing.  So, I’m flowing along with what God has to say!  So, until the book with my name on the cover comes out, you should definitely check out The Motherhood Diaries.  It has my name in the Table of Contents!  That in itself is exciting.  I have read it cover to cover and I swear, I read the other stories from the other authors, many of whom are already published or are already so prolific in their own right…that I STILL wonder how mine was chosen.  The only answer I can come up with is that it was God’s plan.  So..who am I to mess with His plan.

So…the next time you wanna make God laugh, tell Him your plans.  I know he is CRACKING UP at mine.

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata

So…a little about me — Part 2

So…now that you know I’m fat, you should also know that I’m a mom.  Most of the time, where I am, that’s where my daughter is.  Many times we’re inseparable.  Well, at least until we get home.  My daughter is an only child, only grandchild and only great grandchild.  She is spoiled!  On top of that, she is entering those terrible teen years so I’m having a horrific wonderful experience!

The girl (it’s what I call her online for privacy AND to keep from calling her something else), is in 6th grade and always seems to be up to something.  She is crazy about Mindless Behavior (a music group) and loves fashion.  I’m dumb when it comes to both, so I’m always being “schooled”.

I do the best I can to make sure she has all that she needs.  Some days, I swear I want to shake her silly.  ESPECIALLY on days when she acts ungrateful or worse, like a teenager.  I swear sometimes I have absolutely NO IDEA what to do with or for her.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s not “bad”.  She is in the gifted program.  She makes all As, has perfect attendance and has yet to try to sneak out of the house.  She takes dance and is in her 9th season.  She’s just…at that age where you want to strangle hug her really tight all the time.

One of our biggest fights is about her hair.  She had shoulder length dark brown hair.  When we moved to where we live now, finding a stylist was difficult.  Suddenly, her hair was breaking!  I was FLOORED.  Now, her hair is different lengths all over and she INSISTS on no heat.  When I wash her hair, she has a complaint about everything I do.  “The water is too hot.”  “It’s too cold.”  “You’re pulling my hair.”  “You’re getting water in my eye!”  I told her if she doesn’t like the way I wash her hair then she needs to learn how to wash it herself.  She says, “But I can’t do it right.”  Honey…that right there? Pure foolishness.  Now, had I said that to my mom, she would have fussed and cussed and probably pulled out a switch.  I would have been told to take my whosiswhatsis in there and curl/wash or whatever to my own hair!  My daughter though, is one of these new millennium kids and everybody who has a new millennium kid knows that they are CRAZY!  What’s a new millennium kid you ask?  Any kid born with a birth year that begins with 2.  One day, when I lose my mind and decide to get doctorate degree, my dissertation will be on the difference in children born in the 20th century versus those born in the 21st century.  They have cosmic scars!

Anyway, I digress.  Just now, the girl came and asked me if she could watch Mindless Behavior TV.  Mind you, she JUST got her iPad back after being punished for a week for looking at inappropriate things on it so, she REALLY should be trying to ease back into having it.  She spends way too much time on it and is really going to have a fit when I tell her that the NEW time to be off of it is 7:30 pm instead of the previous 8:30 pm.  NOW, she’ll have to turn it in nightly to me.  If it’s late by even 1 minute, she’ll lose a day.  Parenting in the new millennium is NO JOKE.  Actually, there’s a book you should check out called The Motherhood Diaries by Reshonda Tate Billingsley.  I’m actually a contributing author on that book along with 22 others.  That’s what we’ll talk about on the next post.  Me, the author.

So…the next time your tween asks you the same question that you just answered only minutes after you answer, just look at them, lean in really close as if you’re going to whisper and start to sing at the top of your lungs, “AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!”  They’ll leave then….well…that always works with the girl!

Until next time…

Hakuna Matata!

So…a little about me – Part 1

So…I’m Kimyatta and I have a lot to say…I’m sort of shy in person and sometimes I do not say everything that is on my mind when I want to or need to.  I figured though, perhaps I should write some of it down. I discovered that I can say LOTS of things when I write it down!!! The floodgates opened and the words burst forth!!!

First, I’ll give you a little about me…
The very first thing most people notice about me upon meeting me in person, is that I am overweight.  Heck..lets not dress it up. I’m fat. It is an ugly truth but it is one that I live with. Gosh darn it doo hickey to heck! I’m trying!!!!! This healthy lifestyle stuff is hard!   I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got!

With that being said, I do not get offended when folks call me fat because it is a truth. What’s the point in getting upset over something that is true? I’ve been fat as far as I can remember. Even as early as first grade, I remember being called fat.  So, it leaves me to wonder, what happened?  I’ve been fat my ENTIRE life…(well..I was born at 6 pounds 8 oz…but anyway…)…SO, what’s a girl to do?  Accept it or change it…better yet…BOTH!

I accept where I am in my journey.  While I am overweight (like..a LOT), I do not have high blood pressure, diabetes or any other obesity related disease.  Do my feet and ankles hurt from carrying me around?  YEP.  Do I get tired when I walk?  YEAH.  Do I have a hard time getting off the floor? HECK YEAH! Am I doing something about it?  Yup…I’m making better choices about what I eat and I try to get some activity in.  I have that goal of walking a little each day and increasing as I am physically able to do more.

Now, while I don’t get offended when people call me fat…I do get TICKED off when people fat bash.  Don’t know what fat bashing is?  Oh, that’s when people make sweeping general statements about fat people that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  For example, fat people are lazy.  Not true.  Well, it’s not true about me.  Sometimes, I’m just friggin’ tired!  BUT, I do a LOT of things that make me tired.  Exercising, being a mom, working, blah blah blah.  Yes, I get tired easier than some other folks (for now) but that DOES NOT = lazy.   I recently read where a celebrity said something like, “when you get your fat, nasty self in the shower…” Umm…excuse me…yes, I’m fat.  I am not NASTY!  I wash my body ALL OVER…EVERY DAY (coupla times a day too!).  Now, that’s not what he meant by nasty, but people do think that we don’t bathe for some reason.  Garbage on a stick I say!  Have some couth people!  UGH.

I know for certain that I am judged based on how I look.  Just yesterday, I attended a career fair.  At one of the tables, a man sat and the positions advertised were listed.  I stopped to talk to him.  This LMNOP (I don’t cuss for real, so there will be groups of letters and strange words where expletives would be for regular folks)…but anyway…this LMNOP sat there constantly looking around at other people.  I told him my name was Sunflower and he didn’t even hear it.  I left my resume’ with him, but I’m cool if he doesn’t call.  That’s how people do me a lot though.  They decide before they ever hear what I’m talking about if what I have to say is worth it.  I get discounted a lot that way, but whoever dismisses me just from looking at me does NOT know what they are missing.  I am magnificent!  ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICENT!

Anyway, I suppose I’ve ranted enough, but that’s the first thing you should know about me.  Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way, because I don’t want you to wonder when a few posts down the line I post something off the wall about me being fat….no surprises!

So, the next time you see a fat person walking towards you, instead of sucking in your stomach and squeezing your butt cheeks together to look smaller, just relax and smile!  Say hello.  I promise, we don’t want to swallow you whole!  😀

Hakuna Matata!