So…I’ve got to EXERCISE?!

You’re kidding me right?  Why can’t I just eat right and that be all!  UGH!

So…I went to my doctor for that annual visit that defines female humiliation and we talked about my weight loss plan.  I was frustrated because the scale revealed that I’d gained five pounds.  In the grand scheme of things, five pounds is not a whole lot.  I mean, your weight can fluctuate five to seven pounds in a single day so it should be no big deal.  But when your goal is to make the numbers DECREASE any INCREASE frustrates the snot out of you!

Anyway, we’re chatting and he says, “so what happened?  You were doing so well at one point.”

I rolled my eyes, which he didn’t see because he never looked up from his clip board.  I informed him that I knew my issue.  I had stopped walking.

He said, “Oh..well if you walk five miles a day, you can lose a lot of weight.”

Let me pause here and say that his wife is my general practitioner and they work out of the same office.  It already ticks me off that I have to make separate appointments to see her when I need a refill on my medicine.  I don’t see what the problem is when they see my record right there!  UGH!  Okay..anyway, a few months ago, I had an issue with my throat.  I had a case of laryngitis that lasted a month.  When his wife (Dr. Her) asked me if I had gotten a flu shot, I told her I hadn’t.  She said, “Guess you’ll rethink that next year, huh?”  I wanted to use the palm of my hand to smack an invisible mosquito on her face.

Back to Dr. Him…yeah…I wanted to smack the invisible mosquito on his face too.  I said to him, “well, if I could walk five miles a day, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”  He finally looked up from his note pad to look at my face.  I guess he was trying to see if I was joking.  I wasn’t.  It’s not that I can’t walk five miles a day.  That takes some building up.  Someone at the beginning of an exercise program and you say walk five miles a day?  He was trying to be funny.  It wasn’t.  Did I mention I’m in the market for TWO new doctors?  UGH!

So anyway.  Once upon a time, I worked with a set of personal trainers.  We combined cardio with weight training and I got the best results I’d ever had.  I lost a whopping 88 pounds.  Unfortunately, all of those little buggers and a few friends found me.  This time though, I’m severing ties.  COMPLETELY!

Just like keeping a food journal is essential to my journey, so is keeping an exercise journal.  Like I said before, my body type requires LOTS of exercise, so it is imperative that I have some sort of activity each day.  While I will NOT be walking five miles a day off the rip (thanks Dr. Him.), I will be walking a little each day and building my momentum.  Will I get to five miles a day?  Maybe.  Is that my goal?  No.  I will walk until it becomes too easy.  Then, I’ll start running.  Until then, I’ll do what I can.  My goal is to make exercise as natural as breathing.  It won’t be something to check off on my ‘to do’ list.  It’ll just be a part of who I am!

I will survive.  I have to…the girl needs me!  So, I will fight the daily pull of my bed to keep me bound to all these pounds.  I’ll fight my body and remind it that the brain is in charge.  GET UP!  GET MOVING!  (right after I take this nap…)

So, the next time you see a thick chick pumping her arms getting her work out on down the busy street with neon orange shoes with neon pink laces, don’t hate!  Don’t laugh and video record it to upload to YouTube!  Cheer her on.  You have no idea what it took for her to get out there!

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata!


4 thoughts on “So…I’ve got to EXERCISE?!

  1. You mama will cheer you on. Day one begins today. Take one lap. Then two! Then three! And so on. And so on.

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