So…Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So…I thought I’d have my last visit with Dr. Her last week.  I went in and this LMNOP got on my nerves YET again.  We can’t have a civil discussion.  It’s always a battle of wits with her.  In the infamous words of Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”  At any rate, she gave me some news that I was not exactly ready to deal with but I had to pry it out of her.  Crazy lady.

Often times when I read weight loss stories, whether in magazines or online, people always have that “defining moment”.  The moment that they knew it was time to make a change.  I thought I’d reached that moment several times in the past.  Considering I’ve never had any lasting significant weight loss, I figured I must not have had that moment, until last Wednesday.  May 22, 2013.  Sitting in the office with Dr. Her, she’s going over my labs from the week before when I’d come in for my annual physical.  She’s mumbling to herself, “your, cbc is normal, iron’s a little low, metabolic panel is normal, you’ve got diabetes.  Yep, everything looks the same.”  Mind you, she wasn’t talking to me, but to the computer where she was reading the results.  I said, “I’m sorry, what?  You said I have diabetes.  I don’t.”  She said, “You do.  It says so right here.”  She proceeds to read me the lab report and explain the numbers (poorly I might add).  It never occurred to her that it was my first time hearing that information.

So I sat in disbelief unable to form words simply staring at her.  Believe it or not, the look on her face was one of satisfaction.  Like she finally shut me up.  Yeah, I seriously wanted to choke her.  She said, “I could send you to counseling if you want that.  But you’ll probably come back here knowing more about it than I do.”  Yeah.  This was my last visit with her.  My insurance company is sending me information on other in-network physicians in my area.  The best thing THIS practice could do for me is to allow me to access my records, labs and everything online.  This way, I don’t have to worry about them sending my records over.  I can just download them and give them to the new physician.

So…new chapter.  I walked Wednesday night, more determined than ever to get it right.  I went through my cabinets in frustration trying to figure out what to keep and what to get rid of.  I spent the rest of that day in a daze, unable to fully digest her words.  I had plenty of research to do but no clue where to start.  There is just so much information.  So, thankfully, I have good insurance! The company is helping me get the information from who I need to get it from in the right order in the right pieces so that I can understand and adjust.

You’re probably wondering why I’m sharing something so personal.  There are a few reasons.  In my first post, I wrote that though I’m overweight, I have no obesity related diseases…well..that’s out the window!  So here’s retracting THAT statement.  I also wanted to say it because it would come out eventually.  When I’m sharing my extreme weight loss story in First or Woman’s World or Good Housekeeping or on Oprah or The Today Show, I’d have to say it anyway.  It’s also a way for me to deal with the new diagnosis.

A few years ago, I learned a valuable lesson about life and death in the tongue.  Proverbs 18:21 is clear.  I learned that we should only speak those things that we want to give life to.  There are so many things we say that define where we are going.  So, I figured if I didn’t say I had diabetes, it wouldn’t be true.  Okay…yeah…no…not the correct application.  Not saying it after the fact is not refraining from giving it life.  It is simply denial.  I’ve been in denial far too long.

I’ve always hated being forced into a corner.  When I was in high school and college, we had so much required reading.  It sincerely cramped my style!  While I loved to read, I wanted to read what I wanted to read.  The Scarlet Letter was not it!  I wanted to be reading something else by Toni Morrison or John Saul!  I hate when I HAVE to learn to sing a song a certain way.  I already know the song.  I like to sing it the way I sing it!  Just because it’s written a certain way, doesn’t mean I have to sing it that way.

Now, I feel like I’ve been forced into a corner with my health.  “Stuff just got real.”  But, I will not be discouraged.  A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  On Saturday when I left for my walk, the girl was in the living room shouting, “Go mom!  GO!  You’ve got this!  YAY MOM!”  It warmed my heart.  That little voice urged me to push myself and double my walking time that morning.  So…here’s to getting it right!

So…the next time you’re offering a fat girl a piece of cake and she says no, and you say, “aww, come on!  It’s just a piece of cake.  You know you want it…”, don’t be surprised if she takes that same cake and smashes it in your face…just sayin’.  She did say no.

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata

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13 thoughts on “So…Ain’t nobody got time for that!

  1. OMG!! Thanks for sharing this. My mother is “not speaking life” to her diabetes. I say she’s in denial. This just gave me another way to talk about it with her so, hopefully, we can get her on the right track.

    • indeed…I was really hesitant at first…but I thought…maybe it can help someone else! Glad I did…and yes…that “not speaking life” to something that is ALREADY true…yeah…that’s stepping into the grave unfortunately…:( …I’ll be praying for you…hopefully she’ll be responsive to your concerns…

  2. Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Kimyatta! Cheering you on from California. (Oh and if I ever make my way to your town, we gon’ slash Dr. Her’s tires.)

  3. I’m sorry to read about you receiving a diabetes diagnosis. I’ve been suffering with high blood pressure and being prediabetic. My A1c was 0.1 away from giving me a diagnosis of diabetes. I really started making some changes. I was so scared. It’s quite unnerving. It is a struggle, but I feel so much better after working out. Its nothing like getting news like that to make us do a little extra. You Got This!!!

  4. You are too silly! Smash it in your face! LOL
    But seriously, we can cheer for you—-Goooo girl! I still got my eye on you. Prayerfully in a few months, I’ll be able to tell my doc, take these hypertension pills and shove them! #beenoverweightlongenough

    • Amen! Amen! OR you can be more dramatic and take the pill bottle and dump them on the counter….then jump on the counter and do a Mexican Salsa dance on them….(complete with mariachi music…) lol..

  5. It is not easy, is it? I’ve seen people reverse early Stage 2 diabetes with diet and exercise. Get yourself to a great nutritionist and see what you can do. And then YOU will be the one with a look of satisfaction on your face–when you switch doctors because you’re so darn healthy!

  6. Absolutely heart broken to learn this news. Kim, you can do it!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!! You can do it!!!!!!! On a very spiritual tip (the only tip I, through God, stay on) you need to put your flesh on a fast. Now, I’m not a doctor and I have not had to develop the kind of faith needed to trust God for physical restoration and healing after being diagnosed with having such a serious diseases, so you should pray first. Because there are experiences that your body will go through getting rid of this disease that I have not experienced and cannot tell you about. But what I do know is that God honors our faith when we do things according to His Will and as believers, Jesus blurred no lines about fasting. This is to be something very familiar to us and our spiritual growth.

    When any area of our lives are out of the will of God for our lives as His children, fasting aligns us. This is not to starve yourself with simply going without food. This is to align yourself spiritually to come under subjection of Gods order! This means studying the Word day and night to understand where you are weak and allowing God to strengthen you in that area. We are strengthened when we know and understand God’s Word, and rely on it. We meditate on it, chewing and rolling it around in our minds, milking it for its meaning which gives us deep revelation. Your habits that have gotten you to this place health wise are a result of what you were allowing into your spirit. As a marketing and public relations major, I learned first hand the tactics the enemy, through people, uses to entice and tempt us. The lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh; these are things even Jesus was tempted by. His defeat over this temptation means that through Him, we can also defeat these temptations! And unless we renew our minds in the Word and stay in Gods spiritual perspective on every area in our lives, we will continue being on this merry-go-round. Your’s is food, someone else’s is women, another’s is money, and someone else’s is drugs. Deliverance takes place when we see our issues as spiritual and do what is necessary to overcome them. This means putting on the mind of Christ, learning AND TRULY UNDERSTANDING IN OUR HEARTS The Word of God, and leaning and relying on His truths. All the will power and determination in the world cannot sustain us in the areas of our weaknesses unless we have a constant truth to rely on and dispel the lies that are constantly being blared at us. The enemy is so cunning and crafty and he knows JUST what will slow us down from getting to where God wants us. There is nothing pretty about fasting. I will not lie and say that you will be feeling great and spiritual at first! For me, those things did not take place for about a week or two into my fast. If you decide to go this route, fasting is flat out HARD on the flesh! I was cranky in the first week, tired, frustrated, AND HUNGRY!!!! But as I focused, learned what was going on with my body as the toxins and impurities were being expelled, and fed my spirit instead of my body, I had breakthroughs, had dreams, revelations, and got wisdom that only God could have given to me. And NOW, I am EXACTLY where God wants me! I am stronger and wiser where I was weak and ignorant. I am so much more aware of what I put into my body and live my life according to the wisdom he has given me about my entire life; what I eat, what I drink, who I allow to speak into my spirit, what I watch and listen to, the whole nine! This kind of discipline and eventual lifestyle usually does not take place where sincere and whole-hearted fasting did not happen at some point in the believer’s life.

    There is so much God wants to do for you and through you! …IF you let Him…

    Father God in the name of Jesus, I come on behalf of my sister Kimyatta. She has been given a label that is not of You Father. Your Will is that we are whole and healthy in every area of our lives. Your Word says that You have already blessed us in the heavenly realm with every spiritual blessing, and that we have been given everything we need to for life and godliness to live a life that is pleasing to You! We know that spiritual blessings beget physical blessings. So Lord, in the name of Jesus, I pray for Your wisdom to fall on her life never before! Father speak to her like you never have confirming her of who she is in You; Your daughter, perfectly, wonderfully, and so amazingly made that it’s scary! Father God, quicken her spirit to become so hungry for Your perfect Will for her life that she cannot rest. Cause her to desire Your pure and complete Word Oh Lord! In the name of Jesus, cause an insatiable hunger for You and Your Will for her life, that all she wants to do is read and understand completely YOUR Word!! In the name of Jesus!!! Open her eyes, her heart, and her mind to know that without You she cannot overcome this or anything else in her life definitely! We know and believe that complete healing and all restoration comes from You when we surrender ourselves and give ourselves completely to You! I pray for her strength through this process if she decides to follow You to victory in this area! That even though her body may not feel the immediate victory over this issue, that emotions and pain lie, and that without them coming to the surface and coming out, nothing can be strengthened and healed! In the name of Jesus I pray! Oh God, I curse the powers of the enemy over her! Where she has been worn out and weakened by the tricks and tactics of the enemy enticing her to partake and indulge in things that are not of You, I curse His hold on her body and her mind, and loose Your Holy Spirit over her, her house, her daughter, and their entire lives, in the name of Jesus!!! The enemy canNOT have her and I declare THIS DAY that you are Lord over her life in every area of her life, leading her into the deepest revelations of Your Word and Who You are Father, in Jesus name!!! It is so!

    Kim if there is ANYTHING you need we are here!!! Don’t hesitate to ask! We are works in progress, and to the absolute best of my ability in God, I am here for you! Just say the word! I will venture out to say that in any way I can help be it fasting with you, praying with you, exercising together, whatever you need I am here! (I have to crucify my flesh too because right now, its screaming “DON’T YOU TELL HER THAT!!!!!! I WANNA EAT!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!) We love you and are praying with you!

    P.S. Anthony has already started running on his own in the mornings! You got help and encouragement all around!!! Let us know!!!! We love you!!! ;D

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