So…I can say one of the most significant things I’ve seen a change in is my relationships. Now this is relationships WITH ER’BODY!
A few years back…a friend of mine said she was too old for new friends. I respect everyone’s decisions but I’m so glad that’s not my stance. While I’m not openly seeking new friends, I’m grateful I keep meeting and connecting with others. I’ve really made some GREAT friends this year.
It starts with know who you are and what you like. It makes no sense for me to try and befriend someone who is into extreme surfboarding. That is soooooooooooo not my style. I’m a reader and writer, so naturally, I should surround myself with those folks. Well, I don’t get out much. Much of my people interaction is either at church in the choir or social media…well..really…Facebook. Through Facebook though, I discovered Blog Talk Radio. I connected with some really awesome folks and grew closer to others just discussing books and authors!
Some of these book junkies have been encouragers, prayer warriors, sounding boards, and shoot…just AWESOME FRIENDS! Some, I connected with over comments over a mutual friend’s post…either way. Don’t discount social media friendships. Those friends have been in my corner…they go to bat for me…and if I go missing, they’re ready to board a plane to lead a search party. Same here…Daphine, Orsayor, Stacy, Yolanda…you guys are the bomb diggity!
Some I met because of The Motherhood Diaries. Those ladies are so funny. They are super supportive, they make me laugh and help me remember that I’m not alone in this motherhood journey! They give advice the help slap me back to reality at times! I love being a part of that sisterhood. I even met my kindred spirit Keleigh there…You couldn’t have told me I’d be connected this closely to people via Facebook that I didn’t already know…but it is an amazing bond.
I even found a friend on Facebook who I graduated from high school with…but I don’t remember her from high school! I remembered her from a weight loss program we both participated in once. She’s been a wonderful prayer partner. We ended up being a member of the same church and we get to hang out. Tamara is such a cool friend…and when I want to hang out..her daughters are old enough to baby sit! lol..
Now…in the choir, I’ve made some great friends even when I’ve been standoffish and keeping to myself. I’ve been adopted though and they won’t let me go! Lol…While I’m away from my family, I have made some new friends who are like family. Ms. Ruby and Rachel have grabbed me as their own. Donna and Kelly keep me abreast of what is really happening with folks my age. I met my prayer partner there too. One who challenges me. Nicole has helped me kick off and stomp the rose colored glasses to Hades. She is the one who holds the mirror to my face and forces me to look and see what is really there. She won’t let me close my eyes and pretend not to see it. I love the growth I’ve seen since we met. She completely and totally rocks. My sister is like Nicole in that respect too…man…what would I do without them…
Then, there are my tried and true relationships. My BFF from before BFFs were a thing…Karen…and then my other sisterlings…Melissa, Dashia, Kerrie and Devin…I tell ya…though I’m not in close proximity to them, I feel like I haven’t missed a beat. When I’m home, we get to hang out some…even for only a few hours. I’m not afraid to be me. They keep me grounded, lift me up..make me wanna fly…Best part…I can call them night or day…and I can get what I need…and they can call me too! This last year I’ve seen our bond tighten it seems. My favorite part is that since I’m away from my mama…they are close enough to take care of her. I gave my mom permission to be friends with them…(HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!) They have adopted my mom…and she’s taken them…and I’m so grateful…where it’d take me 4 hours to get to her if something happened, they’re right there…unlocking doors…bringing food…bandaging wounds…I love my extended family!
Y’all know how I feel about my mom…but this year has really strengthened our relationship. Never thought I’d get to the place where I could go to my mom about anything…but I’m grateful that she is that person. Don’t get me wrong…she’s still my mama…but…now I’m now understanding and accepting our relationship because she’s so much more than that…love that lady…
Now…I met a guy this year…seemed like he had it together. He was a good prospect to end my singlehood…lol..or so I thought. What he really was for was to give me insight into the male psyche…and yup…help me build my character in my book. That’s it…that’s all…*deep sigh* Ah well…I’m still single….and I’m okay with that. I’m not broken. I’m not incomplete. I’m perfectly placed for this moment in time. It’s about not being afraid though. So…I’m unafraid…waiting until next time.
I’ve also gotten closer to Kimyatta this year. It’s been a blast. The last 3 months of this year have really been insightful on who I REALLY am! I can’t believe that I’ve wasted so much time pleasing others and neglecting myself. Boy..I could really beat myself down about that…but it’s no use. I only have today to get it right. So…I worry about what I can do today..and keep it moving. Doing that has made me a better parent I believe. The girl and I have really changed the way we interact in the past few months. I mean..she still mostly stays in her room…but we’re better than we were THIS time last year! Grateful for change.
The best relationship I’ve repaired…mended…reconstituted is my relationship with God. Man…that’s been rocky…I’ve finally gotten to a place where I can just accept my situation as a building point. No. It doesn’t mean that I’m satisfied with where I am, but I can praise Him that I’m not where I used to be and I’m certainly better off than I could be. He keeps me. He carries me. He helps me to understand Him better. I have to be open to change. I can’t relive my past. I can’t worry about my future. All I can do is commit THIS day to doing the work HE called me to do. Do I always know what that is? Nope. But, I have to stay connected with Him to make sure that I stay on the path. I’ve taken the scenic route too many times, so now, I want what He wants for me…so…I’m doing the best I can with what I have! (I say that a lot don’t I?)
Anywho…Two thousand thirteen has been one heck of a year for me. I’ve seen so many fluctuations. The folks I mentioned have certainly seen me go from extreme to extreme. Growing pains are a beast! As long as no one tries to commit me, I think I’m alright. I don’t think they will…because then..they’d have to get the girl! I’ve lost some friends…not physically, but we’ve just grown apart. I’ve tried holding on…but I realized that’s not healthy. Sorry to see them go, but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Ah well…C’est la vie!
Can’t wait to see what 2014 holds!
Until next time,