So…will you stop?

So…will you stop?

So…off on another walking adventure this morning. I get to my decided place to walk and start on the trail only to be bullied off by a very hungry caterpillar! It was huge! It was at least as big as my pinky finger! So…I surrendered the trail and decided to walk the parking lot. I discovered a sidewalk and decided to take it where it would lead me.

So I’m walking down the sidewalk. It ends so I turn around to go back. At this point I’m winded and when I saw where I have to go and that it’s uphill I thought, “somebody is gonna have to come pick me up and take me back to my car”. I realized though how ridiculous that sounded as I wasn’t injured or incapacitated. I just needed to keep going until I got back to my car. Then I had an epiphany! (I always have them when I walk. You’d think I would do it more often!) anyway. I thought…that’s how life is. Sometimes we are on a path and get tired. Worn out. Hurt. Ready to quit and call someone to bail us out but we shouldn’t. We just have to keep going. That’s the only way to get through life or to live…you have to keep going! If you stop and wait for someone to come get you, you’ll lose your momentum, you’ll waste time and you will miss all the good stuff along the way!

So…I kept walking. The hills would come. I trudged up them. Then they would level out. It would be great for awhile. Then I would get to a place where the sidewalk would end and I would turn around and find myself going up another hill. Then it would level out. The cycle kept repeating. I was finally back at my car. Winded. Feeling a mixed bag of emotions and just thankful to be done. I thought some more. Life’s gonna hurt but it’s meant to be felt (India.Arie)…

Had I called someone to come get me…I would’ve missed out on some of the beauty around me. Wouldn’t have heard my favorite songs to make me feel better along the way…and I wouldn’t have gotten that great view of eye candy standing at the library when I got back! Lol. Okay….silly…but you get my point. When you give up…you miss out on the good stuff. No matter how big or small. So my words to myself and to you if you want to listen…don’t give up. I know I’ve had this conversation with me before….but anything worth it is worth repeating.

Until next time… 

 
Hakuna Matata

So…Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So…Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So…I thought I’d have my last visit with Dr. Her last week.  I went in and this LMNOP got on my nerves YET again.  We can’t have a civil discussion.  It’s always a battle of wits with her.  In the infamous words of Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”  At any rate, she gave me some news that I was not exactly ready to deal with but I had to pry it out of her.  Crazy lady.

Often times when I read weight loss stories, whether in magazines or online, people always have that “defining moment”.  The moment that they knew it was time to make a change.  I thought I’d reached that moment several times in the past.  Considering I’ve never had any lasting significant weight loss, I figured I must not have had that moment, until last Wednesday.  May 22, 2013.  Sitting in the office with Dr. Her, she’s going over my labs from the week before when I’d come in for my annual physical.  She’s mumbling to herself, “your, cbc is normal, iron’s a little low, metabolic panel is normal, you’ve got diabetes.  Yep, everything looks the same.”  Mind you, she wasn’t talking to me, but to the computer where she was reading the results.  I said, “I’m sorry, what?  You said I have diabetes.  I don’t.”  She said, “You do.  It says so right here.”  She proceeds to read me the lab report and explain the numbers (poorly I might add).  It never occurred to her that it was my first time hearing that information.

So I sat in disbelief unable to form words simply staring at her.  Believe it or not, the look on her face was one of satisfaction.  Like she finally shut me up.  Yeah, I seriously wanted to choke her.  She said, “I could send you to counseling if you want that.  But you’ll probably come back here knowing more about it than I do.”  Yeah.  This was my last visit with her.  My insurance company is sending me information on other in-network physicians in my area.  The best thing THIS practice could do for me is to allow me to access my records, labs and everything online.  This way, I don’t have to worry about them sending my records over.  I can just download them and give them to the new physician.

So…new chapter.  I walked Wednesday night, more determined than ever to get it right.  I went through my cabinets in frustration trying to figure out what to keep and what to get rid of.  I spent the rest of that day in a daze, unable to fully digest her words.  I had plenty of research to do but no clue where to start.  There is just so much information.  So, thankfully, I have good insurance! The company is helping me get the information from who I need to get it from in the right order in the right pieces so that I can understand and adjust.

You’re probably wondering why I’m sharing something so personal.  There are a few reasons.  In my first post, I wrote that though I’m overweight, I have no obesity related diseases…well..that’s out the window!  So here’s retracting THAT statement.  I also wanted to say it because it would come out eventually.  When I’m sharing my extreme weight loss story in First or Woman’s World or Good Housekeeping or on Oprah or The Today Show, I’d have to say it anyway.  It’s also a way for me to deal with the new diagnosis.

A few years ago, I learned a valuable lesson about life and death in the tongue.  Proverbs 18:21 is clear.  I learned that we should only speak those things that we want to give life to.  There are so many things we say that define where we are going.  So, I figured if I didn’t say I had diabetes, it wouldn’t be true.  Okay…yeah…no…not the correct application.  Not saying it after the fact is not refraining from giving it life.  It is simply denial.  I’ve been in denial far too long.

I’ve always hated being forced into a corner.  When I was in high school and college, we had so much required reading.  It sincerely cramped my style!  While I loved to read, I wanted to read what I wanted to read.  The Scarlet Letter was not it!  I wanted to be reading something else by Toni Morrison or John Saul!  I hate when I HAVE to learn to sing a song a certain way.  I already know the song.  I like to sing it the way I sing it!  Just because it’s written a certain way, doesn’t mean I have to sing it that way.

Now, I feel like I’ve been forced into a corner with my health.  “Stuff just got real.”  But, I will not be discouraged.  A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  On Saturday when I left for my walk, the girl was in the living room shouting, “Go mom!  GO!  You’ve got this!  YAY MOM!”  It warmed my heart.  That little voice urged me to push myself and double my walking time that morning.  So…here’s to getting it right!

So…the next time you’re offering a fat girl a piece of cake and she says no, and you say, “aww, come on!  It’s just a piece of cake.  You know you want it…”, don’t be surprised if she takes that same cake and smashes it in your face…just sayin’.  She did say no.

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata

So…Janet Jackson’s Principles For A Perfect Workout

So…I get this email from Blackdoctor.org like all the time. I NEVER OPEN IT! Um…’scuse me! Kimyatta?! WHY DID YOU SUBSCRIBE IF YOU WEREN’T GONNA READ! I suppose for such a time as this…

I love Janet Jackson! That chick can move! I get tired just watching her…*sigh*…ANYWAY…from this article I am most interested in the part about varying the workouts. One of the things I remember most when I was on a role losing weight is the variety of the workouts. We RARELY did the same thing twice in a week. I remember one time, the whole workout was 10 jumping jacks, 10 squats, and 10 pushups. REPEAT! WE did that for like AN HOUR! (no exaggeration…). That was a day I sincerely wanted to quit.

So..here’s where I am now…I haven’t figured out how to VARY my workouts. I’m kinda limited to walking right now. I walk around my apartment complex or the dance studio parking lot…but that’s about as much variety as I get. I could go to the park, but yeah, I want to do something OTHER than walking. SO…I’ll have to keep searching..until I find something that will be different and doable! Enjoy this article.

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata