So…I wrote a love letter to my lady…

This year…I’ve had some friends lose their mothers.  It’s been difficult to read their posts on Facebook or get their phone calls telling me about it.  I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for some folks.  Sometimes we don’t say all we need to say to the folks we love while they are living which leads to regret when they leave this great earth.

Last year…I wrote a Mother’s Day post and I talked about my mom something fierce.  I didn’t do it this year, I think I just reposted the one I wrote last year.  Anyway…my mom’s on my mind a lot these days…so…I decided to write her a love letter!

She’s my favorite lady you know…here goes!

Dear Mumsy…George…Pearl…(those are all her names I call her!)

You completely and totally rock!  I’m so grateful to have a mother like you.  I know you don’t consider yourself my friend…but you really have some great friend qualities.  God gave me the greatest gift when He paired us.  I’m sure you didn’t know where this journey would lead you when I come into the world with all my newborn drama!  I mean…did you look at me and go…”now what am I supposed to do with her?”  I know I would have!

I can’t say enough how much you mean to me.  You’re a great example to me.  I remember when I was recovering from surgery how well you took care of me.  I always had food to eat…I didn’t have to worry about my clothes or even fixing the bed.  But when you were sick…recovering from surgery…I didn’t quite get it right like you did.  You had to ask for things because I didn’t think to do them.  I’m sorry I messed that up, but know that I’m starting to think ahead like you so…I’m learning to be ready for anything.

Thank you for making me understand that no matter what, you’re still my mom.  Even when that meant stepping back and letting me mess up royally…but then you were there to help me put the pieces back together.  I can’t imagine not having you there.  You knew I needed you even when I didn’t say a word and you were right there…helping me.  But you still gave me room to be…

When I was afraid to move forward, you’ve always been right there guiding me.  Convincing me that God’s plans were still going on even though I couldn’t see them.  You’ve helped me see what a relationship with God looks like.  You’re busy doing His work and that includes me!  But you didn’t stop there.  You’ve shown love to my friends so much so that they won’t let you go either!

Since I’m not there, I feel crazy that I can’t check on you with my eyes like I want to.  I have to settle for text messages and phone calls.  But I have my friends that you’ve claimed as your own who check up on you and take care of you.  They can get a glimpse of what I’ve known about you all along.  You’re a great example of God’s love.  You show it in everything you do.  Whether that’s exercising, playing games, praying for us or baking cakes…you’re showing it!

I love how you love me even though my house isn’t clean like yours.  You’ve never come in and said…”ugh..I can’t even sit down to talk because there’s stuff everywhere…”…(I’m working on it…seriously….)….I love how you love me even though I’m not on my fitness routine like you….or that I’m not up on political events like you…(I mean…you know…I’d rather read a book about it than watch MSNBC…lol…)

It might seem like I’m rambling…but these are just things that’ve been going through my mind….I could be selfish and try to keep you to myself…but I can’t do that…then you would be so unhappy to not be able to share yourself the way you do.  I’ll say again..I’m so grateful to have you as my mom.  There’s no one else I can say that I’d want to be my mom.  Yeah…when I was a teenager…I didn’t get you…in my twenties…I was a little crazy…but now…at almost forty…I’ve got it…I’ve really got it.  You’re the best mom ever!

I love you to pieces!  Now I see how folks will fight about their moms.  “You said what about my mama?”  POW! – Right in the kisser!  Yup.  I get it now.  Took me awhile…but I’m there…I hope you don’t mind that I’ve shared your letter with everyone…but I kinda felt like shouting it from the rooftop…

I Love you Mumsy!

I’ve seen this little picture a million times on the web.  It’s true…these are the stages we go through with our moms…but..I’m glad to be on the sane side of it!

Thoughts on Mom

Have you talked to your mom today?  If you can…why don’t you call her up…

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata

So…Do you know what love is?

So…my favorite scripture is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  You know it…it’s the “love” scripture.  Forrest Gump said, “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”  He did.  He really did.  Think about the movie and how he waited for Jenny.

1_corinthians_13-4-8-sunflowers

This is it.  This is the essence of what we should do to one another and ourselves!  But guess what?  WE DON’T.  Do you know why we don’t love each other? Because we don’t believe that God loves us.

I know you’re saying…”I know God loves me…that doesn’t apply to me!” But it so does.  We know on an academic or intellectual level that God loves us.  Absolutely.  it says so in John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”  You know that.  I know that.  My daughter knew that at 3 years old.  But I dare you to consider this…do you believe it?

Yesterday, I visited a friend’s church.  I don’t really like to do that because I’m usually serving in ministry each Sunday at my own church and hate to not be present.  But, I’ve learned that God will put you where you need to be to hear what you need to hear.  So…at the behest of my friend, I visited a church that was not my own.  The message was simple for the most part and the pastor suggested that we don’t believe that God loves us and that’s why we treat people the way we do.

Think about it.  When we lie to people, we’re really saying, they aren’t important enough for us to tell them the truth about something.  I think about the books I read.  I used to not like to write a review if I didn’t like a book because I was worried about hurting an author’s feelings.  When I became an author, I had that fear even more.  In the last few weeks though, I’ve come to the conclusion, that not saying I didn’t like a book is lying by omission.  In the grand scheme of things, my opinion of a book is not that important, but this is just an example.  If the grammar is horrible, the editing is deplorable and the plot has holes, SOMEBODY should have stopped that particular book from EVER being published.  Unfortunately, that does not happen and the book market is flooded with less than publish-worthy books and when someone tells a friend they want to write a book, they get a response like, “Oh everybody is writing a book these days.”  That’s not demonstrating love.  You’re not honoring a person by withholding the truth from them.

That didn’t resonate? Well let’s look at it this way.  When you see a person that has something you don’t, whether that’s a material thing, a gift or talent, a personality trait, a physical trait or whatever, what do you do?  Sometimes, women are the worst culprits of this.  We see another woman and via a quick once over, we’ve made up our minds about her.  “She should be ashamed for coming out the house like that.”  In reality, we might be saying on the inside, “Why don’t my thighs look like that?”  But this is envy.  Love does not envy.  (It’s right there in the text…look at it…).

This goes back to us not believing that God loves us enough to give us exactly what we were meant to have.  The thighs God gave you were meant for you and no one else.  I remember once I was out walking and a lady stopped me to say that she loved my legs.  WHA?  I hated my legs.  She said that all of her life, she’s had “these lil chicken legs” and would love to have big beautiful legs like mine.  I didn’t know what to say to that because at the time, I was thinking the opposite.  She said I should be sure to show them off because everyone isn’t blessed like me.  Can you say floored?

Psalm 139-14

 

Now, I understand this scripture a little better.  I have accepted that there are things about myself that I may be unhappy with, but God made me and I can love all of me no matter what flaws I may find.  In His eyes, I’m the way I am supposed to be.  He loves me, and I believe that He loves me.  I’m making it my business to believe that no matter how many times I have to say it every day or how many places I have to post it each day.  If I don’t believe that God loves me, then I can’t love myself.  If I can’t love myself, then I can’t love anyone else.  I’m special and I have a unique set of gifts, talents and abilities that He gave me to perform a specific task for Him, so today, I embrace that.

He loves me so much, He sent his Son to die for me.  I can’t thank Him enough.  Would you have given YOUR kid to save all of humanity?  That type of love is unfathomable.  But today, I believe that kind of love is possible.  I believe that I’m loved that way.  There’s nothing I did to deserve it and there’s nothing I can do to earn it.  Here’s the kicker….there’s also nothing I can do to make Him not love me.  Imagine that.

Be free of your pain, your hurt and your self hate and know that God loves you.  Accept it and move on.

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata

So…a little bit about me — Part 5

So…a little bit about me — Part 5

So…by now, you should know the “real” me.  This is the final entry about me.  The last thing you should know is that in addition to reading and writing, I love to sing.  Now, before you start asking for my demo, I’m not THAT kind of singer.  I sing because it makes me happy.  I don’t care who knows!  I just like to sing.

Each morning, I wake up with a song in my heart.  Sometimes it’s a song I’ve heard recently.  Sometimes it’s a song I haven’t heard in ages.  Sometimes, it’s even a song I have never heard in my life in which case, I just hum it until it sounds like something I know or another song pops into my head.  If a song has a good beat, a decent melody, yep, I’m going to like it, move to it and sing to it (even when I don’t know the words)!

Now, because I like to sing, I demonstrate the love for the ear God gave me by singing in the choir at my church.  Now, while I am not Mariah Carey or someone like that, I will say that I can carry a tune.  I prefer to sing background though.  I like being taught a part and mastering it or listening to a song and hearing the part that I am to sing.  I sing the part that I hear or am taught.  When in doubt, I just sing an octave above the tenor part!

One time, I had the nerve to volunteer to sing the lead on a song.  Encourage Yourself by Donald Lawrence.  All because Ms. Rutha asked…”would you like to try it?”  Had she said, “Do you want to lead it?”, my answer would have been a resounding NO!  That particular day, I had just finished fussing at my students for giving up on something they had never tried.  All day I preached try! Try! TRY!  It was like God said to me, “Okay, try.”  I couldn’t say no right?  So, I had to TRY because I’d never done it before.    So, scared to death, I lead my first song the 4th Sunday of that October.  My mom called my sister and I looked up that Sunday morning and saw her sitting in the congregation.  I was completely mortified.

Well, after the service, I had many well wishers saying what a good job I’d done.  I laughed inside and thought, “yeah, that’s because the anointing fell and blessed y’all’s ears to not hear the complete and utter mess that I heard!”  Anyway, I do alright.  I have done a few other ones but I’ve learned NOT to volunteer for it!  If I do lead one, it’s because the director has lost his or her mind and somehow said they hear me singing it.  Umm…alright.  I’ll let that slide.

My most embarrassing moments all involve me singing.  Not in church on the microphone as a solo or in the background as a choir member.  No.  That would be tooooooooo easy!  You’d think I might be embarrassed when I can’t sit in a chair because it has arms and my hips are too wide.  Or maybe if I have to turn sideways to go through an opening.  Nope!  Those things don’t get me.  I am not ashamed to ask for a chair without arms and turning sideways to go through a door is no different than a tall person ducking to go through a door in my book.

So, what’s this embarrassing moment you ask?  Well, because I’m such a music lover and I love to sing, I have a habit of listening to music with ear buds/headphones or whatever on.  So…when “my song” (whatever that may be at the time) comes on, I am usually compelled to sing it!  Sometimes though, I FORGET where I am or what I should be doing and end up singing.  Now, I try to keep it low, going so far as to take one of the ear buds out so that I can monitor my volume.  Unfortunately, sometimes I forget to do that and just sing to my heart’s content!  I absolutely LOVE the way I feel when I sing.  BUT, sometimes other people can not appreciate the special *ahem* blend of tones from my voice.  I think it’s just because they can’t hear the music or don’t know the song…(I like some off the wall stuff).  So, needless to say, I found myself at work some years ago with my headphones on, listening to a song by Trin-i-tee 5:7 called Lord.  It’s to the tune of Love by Musiq Soulchild.  Yeah, so….umm…the person in the cubicle next to me had been tapping on the wall for some time trying to tell me that I was too loud because the customer that she was on the phone with could hear me.  I missed it.  It wasn’t until I received a pop up from an email from that coworker that read.  “YOU’RE SINGING TOO LOUD!  WHAT SONG IS THAT ANYWAY?”  I took off my headphones, just in time for my supervisor to walk around the corner.  She asked, “are you training for another career?”  Thankfully she was a good sport and burst into laughter.  I believe I was the one who started the office policy to allow us to listen to soft music WITHOUT earphones.  Now, I’m careful to only listen to my music with one ear plugged or covered.  There’s no point in keeping them both because I am GOING to sing!

So, the next time you’re out and about and you see a lady popping her head to a song you can’t hear, don’t laugh.  Walk up to her and dance with her.  I guarantee she’s pretty darn happy!

Until the next time,

Hakuna Matata