So…I’m Kimyatta and I have a lot to say…I’m sort of shy in person and sometimes I do not say everything that is on my mind when I want to or need to. I figured though, perhaps I should write some of it down. I discovered that I can say LOTS of things when I write it down!!! The floodgates opened and the words burst forth!!!
First, I’ll give you a little about me…
The very first thing most people notice about me upon meeting me in person, is that I am overweight. Heck..lets not dress it up. I’m fat. It is an ugly truth but it is one that I live with. Gosh darn it doo hickey to heck! I’m trying!!!!! This healthy lifestyle stuff is hard! I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got!
With that being said, I do not get offended when folks call me fat because it is a truth. What’s the point in getting upset over something that is true? I’ve been fat as far as I can remember. Even as early as first grade, I remember being called fat. So, it leaves me to wonder, what happened? I’ve been fat my ENTIRE life…(well..I was born at 6 pounds 8 oz…but anyway…)…SO, what’s a girl to do? Accept it or change it…better yet…BOTH!
I accept where I am in my journey. While I am overweight (like..a LOT), I do not have high blood pressure, diabetes or any other obesity related disease. Do my feet and ankles hurt from carrying me around? YEP. Do I get tired when I walk? YEAH. Do I have a hard time getting off the floor? HECK YEAH! Am I doing something about it? Yup…I’m making better choices about what I eat and I try to get some activity in. I have that goal of walking a little each day and increasing as I am physically able to do more.
Now, while I don’t get offended when people call me fat…I do get TICKED off when people fat bash. Don’t know what fat bashing is? Oh, that’s when people make sweeping general statements about fat people that couldn’t be farther from the truth. For example, fat people are lazy. Not true. Well, it’s not true about me. Sometimes, I’m just friggin’ tired! BUT, I do a LOT of things that make me tired. Exercising, being a mom, working, blah blah blah. Yes, I get tired easier than some other folks (for now) but that DOES NOT = lazy. I recently read where a celebrity said something like, “when you get your fat, nasty self in the shower…” Umm…excuse me…yes, I’m fat. I am not NASTY! I wash my body ALL OVER…EVERY DAY (coupla times a day too!). Now, that’s not what he meant by nasty, but people do think that we don’t bathe for some reason. Garbage on a stick I say! Have some couth people! UGH.
I know for certain that I am judged based on how I look. Just yesterday, I attended a career fair. At one of the tables, a man sat and the positions advertised were listed. I stopped to talk to him. This LMNOP (I don’t cuss for real, so there will be groups of letters and strange words where expletives would be for regular folks)…but anyway…this LMNOP sat there constantly looking around at other people. I told him my name was Sunflower and he didn’t even hear it. I left my resume’ with him, but I’m cool if he doesn’t call. That’s how people do me a lot though. They decide before they ever hear what I’m talking about if what I have to say is worth it. I get discounted a lot that way, but whoever dismisses me just from looking at me does NOT know what they are missing. I am magnificent! ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICENT!
Anyway, I suppose I’ve ranted enough, but that’s the first thing you should know about me. Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way, because I don’t want you to wonder when a few posts down the line I post something off the wall about me being fat….no surprises!
So, the next time you see a fat person walking towards you, instead of sucking in your stomach and squeezing your butt cheeks together to look smaller, just relax and smile! Say hello. I promise, we don’t want to swallow you whole! 😀
Hakuna Matata!
Kimyatta Writes 
This is a very interesting start to your blog. Especially since you are admitting to having been overweight since a toddler. My question is should the responsibility revert back to the parenting? Who you are now has a lot to do with your parenting and if in your eyes you were overweight then, should it stand to reason that your parent(s) allowed something that they shouldn’t have. I am overweight, but it is by my own hand. I own my responsibility. Thank you for such an enlightening blog.
Norlita…that’s a thought. I’d like to say it’s genetic. Most of my family on both my mom’s side and my dad’s side are overweight. When I was little, we played outside from sun up to sun down. So, we had the activity, I don’t have a thyroid problem (the docs checked). Maybe it’s just that good old southern, country cooking. My mom says I would sneak and eat…um…okay…But I am taking ownership now. Once I hit adulthood, it was on me what happened. I know that I’m an emotional eater so that’s something I’m working on. I’m finding other ways to celebrate, de-stress and get me un-bored. So, getting the nutrition part right coupled with exercise is where I am now…funny..18 years into adulthood and NOW I get it right. Better late than never, right?
Yes, it’s always better late than never. I find it very impressive that you are taking ownership and responsibility.
Hi Kimyatta.. I love you so much. I have a blog that I don’t choose to write in because I don’t know what to put there.. After being labeled as having a disability in writing I write for my private thoughts or the 12 step fellowship and the 12 steps. Much of my writing stems from my feelings too. When I put it down on paper. The paper won’t lie. Frankly I didn’t think people would be interested in what I had to say on my blog. So I commend you for writing your blog. I am having a mother-daughter issue going on with my mother right now. Well we are attempting to mend a broken relationship and that is where my former drug use stems from. I am working with a young lady (my sponsee) who wishes to lose weight too and her main issue is self-hatred, and self-abuse. It is not ok to allow someone else to continue to hurt us especially when we have been traumatized to believe that it is ok. She suffers much from the codependency thing as do we all (I believe). Wow I did have a lot to say and I should get back to writing because it is a relief for me, a way to breathe, and a way to grieve. My article in the “motherhood diaries” I am coming to believe was a way of grieving the empty nest syndrome and that my son was incarcerated. I actually love to write and I have a manuscript waiting and after taking numerous of English class perhaps I should hire a editor to edit my pronouns, and predicate adverbs. Listen Good Sunday to you. And I believe you are marvelous to dear.. I’m here if you need me.. Love you…Hi Norlita…Gail.
Thanks Gail! Much love to you sister! I wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested in what I have to say either. After all, I’m no expert on ANYTHING…(well..I believe I’m an expert in ranting…) but I just started writing…at first, I was afraid to post then I thought, “what’s the point if not to share!?”, so I did….I’m glad I did like you said, it’s freeing! So, I encourage you to get your blog in working order! AND YES by all means GET THAT MANUSCRIPT TO AN EDITOR! 😀 You’ll be glad you did…and you’ll be surprised at what your mind does with that…